Fuel the friendship with your spouse by making alone time a priority.
Never stop dating your spouse! I am a HUGE fan of date nights. My husband Peter and I recently took a weekend away together, and it was exactly what my heart and soul needed to be refreshed. We have both been extremely busy with our work and have been like two ships passing in the night. Oftentimes, this happens in marriages. We get busy doing life and don’t make time to invest in our marriage relationship.
Married couples need facetime with one another away from the duties of work, family, and household chores. Time spent where we put our phones down, to longingly gaze into each other’s eyes and be fully present with one another. We can get so busy working, and running from one activity to the next that we often neglect to tend to our marriage. Spending quality time together alone, laughing, talking, and stoking romantic flames is essential to a healthy, happy marriage relationship. Ecclesiastes 9:9 tells us,
“Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that He has given you under the sun because that is your portion in life.” (ESV)
After almost 30 years of marriage, Peter and I continue to prioritize dates. Over the years, we have learned how vital dating is for our relationship and that taking this time for one another helps us to be better parents and people. Sometimes our dates are spontaneous, and other times we plan our dates and getaways. Either way, keeping the spark alive in your marriage is essential. Dating your spouse is a good reminder of why you fell in love in the first place and helps to kindle romance. If we don’t prioritize our marriage relationship, it is easy to let our relationship with our spouse become complacent, especially as we lead busy lives and have growing families.
Here are five reasons why it’s important to date your spouse:
- Dating your spouse increases intimacy and can help you connect on a deeper level. It doesn’t matter if you go out to a fancy restaurant, pack up a picnic lunch, or get a babysitter for the kids and spend the evening at home together alone. Building time to connect with your spouse often helps to build a healthy marriage bond. You can keep it simple or make it extravagant. When our boys were little, our dates consisted of leaving the boys at home with Grandma and Grandpa while we went grocery shopping together. We had fun exploring the International foods aisle and grabbing coffee together. Other times, we would put the boys to bed, make popcorn and have a movie night together, snuggled up on the couch. Now that our boys are grown, we go out for a nice dinner or plan weekend getaways.
- Dating your spouse shows that your relationship is a priority and helps build a strong marital bond. Dating your spouse shows that your marriage matters and sets an excellent example for your kids. When we date our spouses, it can help us connect on a deeper level with one another because it shows them that we appreciate them. Dating your spouse shows you care and lets them know how much you appreciate them. Finding ways to enjoy life together makes all the difference in your relationship.
Matthew 19:4-6 says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Let no one or nothing separate you from your spouse. Not even a busy schedule.
- Dating our spouse provides a much-needed break in our routine. It’s fun to get dressed up and go out with your spouse. I love getting dressed up for my man, putting my makeup on, and pampering myself before we go out. It is also nice to let someone else cook and do the dishes while you attend to your spouse, and it gives us a night off from kitchen duty. Creating time for one another and having fun together helps your relationship blossom.
- Dating is an investment for the future. When we date our spouse, we make love deposits into each other’s accounts. We create special memories that can last a lifetime. We have double-dated with friends, taken an art class together, gone bowling, seen comedians, and attended concerts or plays. We’ve also invested in marriage seminars and conferences. Since we are foodies, we’ve made the most memories with food-related activities. We’ve had a fun time trying out new restaurants together or buying exotic ingredients that we bring home to create new culinary delights. It doesn’t matter what you do, but finding activities you enjoy together is vital.
- Dating your spouse allows you to spark romance in your marriage and helps keep the home fires burning. God wants your union to be joy-filled and blessed. Marriage is, after all, His idea. Spending quality time together helps bring you closer together as a couple.
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18 (ESV)
Prioritizing quality time together regularly helps you avoid falling into a rut in your marriage. It provides an opportunity to keep the lines of communication open with one another, and it helps to show your spouse how much you care about them. If it has been a while since your last date, make plans this week to get away with your spouse, and spend time tending to and cultivating your relationship.
Misty Phillip is a Co-Founder of Spark Media, alongside her husband, where they equip and empower Christian Podcasters. Together they host the Spark Influence Podcast. They’ve been married for almost three decades and have three grown boys.
Misty is a sought-after inspirational speaker and the author of the award-winning Bible Study: The Struggle is Real: But so is God, and the host of the popular By His Grace Podcast.