Cultivating Joy in Your Marriage

Marriage is interwoven with moments of joy, companionship, and divine love. As I was delving into the wisdom of Ecclesiastes the other day, a passage struck me with its profound simplicity and depth. Ecclesiastes 9:9 tenderly advises us to “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun.” (ESV) This isn’t to say our days are meaningless. Instead, it underscores the beautiful opportunity we have to cherish every moment, especially those shared with our spouse. It’s a divine reminder that sharing joy isn’t just a delightful addition to our lives but a cornerstone of a flourishing marriage. Whether it’s engaging in hobbies together, enjoying sports, or simply sharing in everyday tasks and adventures, these shared moments are the glue that binds, creating enduring and endearing memories.

My personal journey with my dear husband, Peter, has taught me that the currency of a joyful marriage is quality time and taking on challenges together. Love finds its most profound expression in these moments of undistracted attention, date nights, embracing adventures, and shared experiences. Marriage, after all, is about journeying together, side by side, hand in hand, through the highs and lows of life. Being fully present for one another in body and spirit strengthens the bond that ties us together. Doing challenging tasks together eases the load and helps to forge the marriage bonds further.

The principle of love and respect is at the heart of a God-honoring marriage.

In its unpredictable ebb and flow, life brings challenges that test our unions. How we face these challenges together can either fortify our connection or fray the edges of our bond. The Scriptures offer a beacon of hope and wisdom in this regard. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reminds us that “Two are better than one,” highlighting the strength found in unity. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (ESV) With God at the head of our marriages, we can do all things because He gives us the strength to endure difficulties. When we stand together, we can face the storms of life with a resilience that is not easily broken. This unity is not just between two souls but is fortified by a third strand, our faith in God, making our bond unbreakable.

The principle of love and respect is at the heart of a God-honoring marriage, as detailed in Ephesians 5:25-33. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (ESV) This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This mutual reverence is the foundation upon which a strong marriage is built. Through acts of love and respect, through spending quality time together, facing life’s hurdles as a united front, and cherishing each joyful moment, we reinforce the ties that bind us. As God has designed, marriage is a journey of deep companionship, boundless love, and unwavering support. By dedicating time to be together, to pray together, and delighting in each other’s company, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace. 

By dedicating time to be together, to pray together, and delighting in each other’s company, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace.

Try one of these 7 activities to cultivate joy and create memories together this week.

1. Prayer Walks: Start or end your day with a prayer walk in your neighborhood or a local park. This peaceful activity offers a chance to connect, reflect on your blessings, and pray for your relationship and community.

2. Bible Study Date Nights: Set aside a regular night each week to delve into the Bible together. Choose a book of the Bible to read through or a devotional specifically designed for couples. This can spark meaningful conversations about faith and how it applies to your marriage.

3. Serve Together: Volunteering at your church or a local charity can strengthen your bond as you work side by side to help others. Serving meals, participating in community clean-ups, or helping at a children’s program can be rewarding experiences that bring you closer.

4. Christian Concerts or Events: Attend Christian concerts, conferences, or workshops. These events can offer spiritual rejuvenation and a fun night out together, enjoying music or learning from speakers about enhancing your marriage through faith.

5. Create a Marriage Vision Board: Spend an evening crafting a vision board that represents your hopes and dreams for your marriage. Include scripture verses, inspirational quotes, and images that reflect the future you envision together.

6. Cook a Meal Together: Choose recipes from countries you’d like to visit or missionary cookbooks that support a cause. As you cook, pray for the people and countries you’re learning about. This activity combines fun, food, and faith in a meaningful way.

7. Write Love Letters to Each Other: Take the time to write heartfelt letters to each other. Share your appreciation, hopes, and prayers for your spouse. Reading these letters together can be a powerful reminder of your love and commitment.

These shared experiences enrich our relationship and deepen our connection, forging a union of strength amidst the trials of life. We cultivate a relationship that mirrors God’s beauty, strength, and wisdom by weaving these practices into our marriages. By spending quality time together we can have a joyful marriage that stands the test of time.