We have all heard that bad company corrupts good character. It doesn’t happen all at once. It is a slow process of exchanging one value for another. We long for acceptance and eventually the corrupt thinking doesn’t feel as menacing as it once did. Our minds begin to shift. It can be difficult to find people who support you and your value system. Oftentimes, it can be most difficult to find what you need within the very places that advertise to have exactly what you lack. It’s hard to wade through the smoke and mirrors to find authentic people. It can also be hard to have the grace and acceptance towards those with different flaws than our own. The art is having enough fellowship with the graciousness, mercy, justice, and beauty of God that seeing the opposite is a great discomfort. It’s a place to speak into, but not a place to dwell. Roots make a difference.
Many writers began writing because of a lack of support and community. They/we felt alone in the world. No one seemed to be listening. People seemed to be contrary to their presentation. It can be more difficult for sensitive people to settle into a community. It takes amounts of time that we don’t seem to have on hand. That’s unfortunate because cultivating a generative community is definitely not popping up in our instapot/drive-thru culture. This is definitely a slow-cook method. Ingredients need to be tested for savory qualities and goodness.
I’m picturing a woman in an Italian market scrutinizing the ingredients of the meal she will nourish her family with later. She knows the good ingredients. Someone taught her. She learned from experience what to avoid. She knows in her mind what she will carry home.
This is how we build community. The poet Malcolm Guite tells us to begin the song exactly where you are. Start with what you have. Begin with what you know. Ask yourself a set of questions.
What has God shown me to be good, beautiful, and true? Is there someone that God is leading you to start a relationship with? Or a community to begin engaging in? Is there a space with like- minded individuals that could help you curate an internal and external belonging?
There are always extra factors at play when dealing with human beings. We are frail creatures on a pilgrimage toward holiness. It’s good to be mindful of that at all times when dealing with others. What are you receiving from the groups that you are in? Are you able to speak up about what you feel contradicts the value system of the community? Who you are in the group is just as important as who everyone else is. What will you bring to the table? God is inviting you to consistent nourishment in His word. He can make you able to bring His heart to a group of people and He can give you the grace to let them receive it how they will.
I’ve seen my fair share of life-giving and detrimental communities. Working with people who are living on the streets, we can see that a community can literally mean life or death for you. You can be in the camp with addicts or you can be with those rising to healing. It is the same story with different results in every community we partake in. You simply have to ask if what you take home from the group will nourish those around you. What can you bring to nourish the group?
What do you want? If you could create a group in your mind, what would it look like? What would the individual relationships look like? Take some time to think about what sort of relationships you might like to be in. What sort of communities do you find in Scripture? If you were going to join a biblical community, what would you choose? Community is where disciples are made. When we engage in a network of tearing people down, that is what we are left with. We can even build community around mindless distraction. It seems harmless, but it keeps us from our goal of creating life.
In the last paragraphs of James 5, we are shown the beauty that can happen in community. We can be redirected to truth in community. We are healed in community. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16 (ESV)
In Servant to Servants, Robert Frost reminds us, “The only way out is through. The only way through is together.” Ask God for your community.
Author Info
Steph Cherry
Steph Cherry is the CEO of The Boho Table, a non-profit providing care for the homeless. She and her husband Denbigh are restoring a three-story mansion outside of Austin, TX to use as a retreat for the weary. Her favorite job is raising her three girls and adventuring with her family.