Empower Your Parenting by Choosing Godly Friends

When I was growing up, some of my best friends were the pastor’s kids. We played tag almost every Sunday evening after church, put on a Fourth of July fireworks show in the parsonage backyard for any church members brave enough to witness it, and had more fun serving together in Vacation Bible School than the children themselves.

But my brothers and I weren’t the only ones who were friends with the pastor’s family. My parents were too. 

Now that I’m a parent, I realize how important it is for my husband and me to develop godly friends in our life season, because these families also impact our children—and shape our parenting journeys. 

Why Invest in Godly Friends

In any investment of time or money, we expect a return. Whether we anticipate one or not, our friendships also yield a return—positive or negative. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed” (NKJV). We want the kind of friendships that make us better. These friends will sharpen our faith, not dull it. 

Did you know the Bible commands us to choose godly friends? “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26 NKJV). 

That verse begs the question: How do we find these friends in the busy season of parenting young children? 

Where to Find Godly Friends

Your best friends don’t have to be the pastor’s family (though that’s great if they are). However, you will probably find them at church.

I realize churches come in all shapes and sizes, but most offer Sunday school classes or small groups for like-minded people in shared seasons to grow together in faith and fellowship. Connect with a class of other parents with kids of similar ages so you can dive into God’s Word and share life experiences together. 

However, you not only have to “join” the group, but you also must participate. Show up faithfully. Attend events and service activities where you can get to know other couples and their kids. Invite a few families over to dinner so you can build relationships, share parenting wins and struggles, and watch your kids interact. Schedule play dates. As the Bible tells us, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” (Proverbs 18:24a NKJV).

For moms, we can also ask if our church has a “mom and me” program or perhaps a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group or something similar. My church has a program each semester called “Tiny Tots” where moms participate in music and story time with their toddlers. I have loved watching my son grow developmentally and socially through this program, and I’ve been able to get to know some other moms too. 

If you’re picking up on a theme here, it’s this: be intentional. Building godly friendships takes time but is so worthwhile.

How to Parent Better with Godly Friends

Some people are blessed to have family members living five minutes away who can watch their toddler at a moment’s notice and give them lots of help. That is not my experience, and maybe it’s not yours. Regardless, we all need support as well as date nights with our spouses. Having very young children is a blessing but also a season where time is short (and if you’re like us, sleep is too), which can put a strain on our marriage relationship. To parent well, we need to make time to prioritize our spouse.

That’s where godly friends come in. Plan a “date night swap” where you watch their children for one night, and they watch yours for another. It’s much cheaper than a babysitter, and your kids will have more fun. 

You can also swap meals, take turns planning activities for your children, and wade through challenges like discipline and potty training together. You can laugh, cry, and pray together. Essentially, you practice Galatians 6:2, which says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (NKJV). 

We weren’t meant to navigate the parenting journey alone. Surrounding ourselves with a godly community of friends makes us better parents and provides even more opportunities for our children to hear gospel conversations and see others model Christlike attitudes and actions. 

How have you seen godly friendships shape your parenting experiences? Will you commit to finding families who share your faith and this wonderful but wild adventure of parenting with you?