We backed out of the driveway and started down the road.  Leaving, I glanced back in the rearview mirror. I sighed. We already moved to 8 different states and here we were, moving again. I was sad to go.

Heading down the road, I couldn’t help but take note of one thing behind me. There, at the end of the driveway, was my huge grey rug, the one I got on special order. It was expensive, uniquely cut, and extravagant. We used to dance on that rug as we sang worship songs as a family. My kids were toddlers then. Now, it leaned up against bins, just trash. Along the side of it were all the other things, we didn’t have room enough to bring.

I waved that time goodbye in my heart. Watching, with grief, as the rain came down on that intricate rug, I watched as it got smaller and smaller in the distance.

Although I knew God had gain ahead, it couldn’t help but feel great loss. The grief wasn’t necessarily about the rug, as much as it was about what we had invested in that season, in the beauty of what we cultivated in that land, the loss of friends and the unknown that laid ahead.

Either way, I knew the truth: In life, loss is inevitable.

In life, loss is inevitable.

Have you experienced loss? Maybe you lost a physical item… Perhaps you lost a son… Some have lost finances or a job… Or hope. Or connection with others.  Or a dream. A husband. A battle. Your health.

Loss feels just like the word, loss. It feels like an absence of oneself. Grief. A giant gap. A gashing pain. A deep pit. An injury.  A loss of a critical life.

Loss is hard.

As a woman who has lost things emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and financially I think it is right to say to you, my fellow sufferer of loss, I’m sorry.

The pain is real. I don’t think Jesus calls us to negate the pain. Even Jesus called out to the Father for the cup of suffering that would cost His life — to pass Him. You are not bad for grieving loss. You are not bad for asking God to change things.

I suppose, though, what can be bad is staying in the pit of loss, forever. If we never climb out of the desperation-laden pit of loss, we will never come to see the light of God on high ground.

God invites us all to come higher. It’s sometimes more easily said than done, though.

At times, I notice my mind wants to go back and, like a roller coaster, circle over all the same tracks of loss.

Why did these women abandon me?

Why did we get ripped off financially by that person?
Why have we had to move so much?

I’ve found through experience, though, that circling the ups and downs of life does nothing, except nauseate a believer. Looking back is permissible, but not profitable.

Paul said, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead…” (Phil. 3:13, NIV)

This is a powerful call-to-action. Better than what lies behind is what lies ahead.

Just think, no one ever has driven forward by looking backward at their rearview mirror. Even more, this verse doesn’t tell us to just not think of the past, but to forget it. Wow. That’s a high calling. There is only one way to accomplish this: one must pray. Only God could do something as miraculous as that.

Perhaps, just thinking about “forgetting what is behind” creates some internal dissonance and resistance. It can be easy to feel the past will repeat, the person will be dishonored, or the future won’t go right if we let go. This is a lie.

If we are to forget does this mean that – we dishonor the person, the time, the season, the joys? No. It means we trust God to hold those memories and times in a heavenly sort of treasure chest. We entrust those things into His hands. It also means that we risk our faith enough to know that every tear that we have cried matters to Him; He keeps those in His bottle (Ps. 56:8). God has a track on what we have lost.

Looking ahead doesn’t dishonor people or our future; it honors God and the greatness of His incoming life.

In this, looking ahead doesn’t dishonor people or our future; it honors God and the greatness of His incoming life.

“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Mt. 10:39)

As much as there is a season for gain; there is a season for loss. But our encouragement in Christ is this: Our loss is the gain of Christ! Our loss means we will find something more.

Jesus tells us this is the case. This is why we can let go.

There is new life found in letting go of old loss. Why not put those things you can’t get past into Jesus’ hands now?