Have you ever felt frustrated at church?
Of course you have. We all have.
Can I share something with you? That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I have an amazing counselor friend who frequently reminds me that emotions are neither good nor bad. “They are just indicators,” she says. So frustration all by is neither good nor bad. It’s just an indicator that a person is experiencing deep care and concern that doesn’t yet have a place to go.
When you feel emotions like this, imagine standing at a crossroads with two very different destinations, depending on which road we follow.
Option 1: Buck the System
What’s really tempting is to give into our flesh and handle our irritation passive-aggressively. Like with a challenging remark disguised as a joke. A knowing glance to a friend in a meeting. A recurring absence or abdication of a position. A diminished tithe.
These start as coping mechanisms, but I’ve seen this kind of thing escalate into covert venting sessions designed to convert and convince others that something is very wrong. I’ve seen it lead to questioning the morality or trustworthiness of decision-makers. Ultimately, this path ends up in a huge blow-up with lots of collateral damage.
And, can I be honest? I’m so weary of seeing the enemy exploit unresolved frustration to bring division. There’s another path. A better one.
Option 2: Be the Change
What if we looked at our frustration as the first clue that God is inviting us to participate in something—to a call He’s developing in us?
A young Moses was enraged by the injustice that he saw—and he was called to be a deliverer. (Exodus 2:11-12)
Nehemiah was heartbroken over the ruin of God’s dwelling place and people — he was called to be a builder. (Nehemiah 1-2)
In his youth, David was intolerant as he listened to Goliath provoke and mock his God — he was called to be a great warrior and leader for the cause of the Kingdom. (1 Samuel 17)
Most obviously, Jesus felt righteous indignation at the corruption of the church —he was called to lay down his life to restore and heal the world. (John 2, Mark 11)
Notice how in each case, frustration wasn’t merely about what was wrong—it revealed who they were called to become.
What if we looked at our own frustration as an invitation from God not only to change what is around us, but what is within us?
The Gift of Divine Disruption
The church desperately needs people who feel and act on holy frustration. This is how progress gets made. It’s how injustice is addressed, how broken systems are fixed, and how toxic dynamics are healed. We need disrupters and challengers in our midst.
This is precisely why the Spirit endows individuals with the spiritual gift of discernment, wisdom, and knowledge, who aren’t assigned to pastoral and leadership roles. They function as guard rails and protectors. They are invaluable for building up the church and the leaders. Their role isn’t to replace leadership, but to strengthen it through insight, courage, and love.
If being a “holy disruptor” resonates with you, I’m willing to bet that at some point, someone has shamed you, dismissed you, or made you feel like you’re just being negative. That can leave scars that make us fearful of sharing thoughts and concerns.
But remember this: our responsibility isn’t to the reaction we receive, or even the outcome. It’s simply to be obedient and to honor the Lord in how we steward what we see. This makes it even more important that, on our end, we have pure motives and loving tactics and be sure we are really building up the church, not tearing it down.
Internal Check Before External Change
When you feel yourself burning inside with that question, “Why won’t someone fix this?” I’m going to challenge you to pause and reflect on these questions:
· How often are you bringing questions and concerns (notice I did not say accusations) directly to the pastors and elders of your church when possible and appropriate?
· Are you bringing solutions rather than just complaints?
· Is this frustration leading you toward love, purpose, humility, and service—or toward comparison, bitterness, self-righteousness and/or resentment?”
Your real enemy (Satan) desperately wants you to take the bait of bitterness, blame and isolation. He wants your frustration to take you out of the game, with maximum collateral damage. But friend—frustration doesn’t have to make you a critic—it can make you a catalyst.
The Church doesn’t need more faultfinders. It needs more servants, builders, and burden bearers. And maybe —just maybe—that’s you.
“Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, strive to excel in gifts that build up the church.” 1 Corinthians 14:12 (BSB)
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Author Info
Amanda Tadlock
Amanda currently serves on staff at Bethel Church in Jennings, Louisiana, alongside her husband Michael. They have a precious eight-year-old daughter with an adoption story that is nothing short of miraculous and one feisty American Bulldog named Tex. She is a writer, speaker, Bible teacher and pastor’s wife with over a decade of frontline ministry leadership experience.
