Does God Really Expect Me to Be the Perfect Proverbs 31 Woman?

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? If not, I highly encourage you to stop what you’re doing and read it right now. It’s so full of beautiful wisdom. But I must admit, for many years I had a lot of mixed feelings as I read this chapter of the Bible. I was filled with admiration for the woman who was described, but I was also filled with an overwhelming sensation and frustration as I considered if I was really supposed to measure up to her. 

Proverbs 31 is an invitation to become more like Jesus, not in our own strength but through the power of the Holy Spirit.

This proverb was written to King Lemuel, and many theologians believe this was a name given to King Solomon. It was written by his mother, who Scripture tells us was Bathsheba. How interesting is that? If you know Bathsheba’s story from the book of 2 Samuel, you, like I, might be encouraged that God was able to use her life to give us this beautiful proverb. 

I love the words in Proverbs 31. Starting in verse 10, the passage states that a godly woman is worth far more than rubies (NKJ, verse 10). In the next verse, we read that her husband completely trusts her and that she brings him good, not harm, all of the days of her life (verses 11 and 12). Yes, these are all great things. 

Continuing, we read that she “rises while it is yet night” (verse 15), and “her lamp does not go out at night” (verse 18). What? Does this mean that she gets up while it is still dark and keeps working long into the night (verses 15 and 18)? At this point I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. If I am to be a virtuous woman, am I supposed to stop sleeping? 

The Proverbs 31 woman also sells merchandise (verse 18), makes tapestries (verse 22), considers a field and buys it (verse 16), and even makes linen garments and sells them (verse 24). Ok, this is just too much. How could I possibly ever achieve success in all of these areas? No wonder she never sleeps! 

After studying and asking God to help me understand how we women should respond to this proverb, I learned that Bathsheba wasn’t writing about one specific woman who was a living example to us. Instead, she encouraged her son to look for a wife who exhibits many godly character traits and behaviors. When we read that she rises while it is still dark, the author speaks of being disciplined and managing her time well and demonstrates that she is using great business sense in the work the Lord has given her. When we read that all of her household is clothed in scarlet, we should take away that she is looking out for her children and husband making sure their physical needs are met. 

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful picture of sanctification, a fancy word that just means as we walk with God, He will continue to make us more godly and to exhibit more of His character.

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful picture of sanctification, a fancy word that just means as we walk with God, He will continue to make us more godly and to exhibit more of His character. He does not expect us to be perfect; instead, He invites us to be perfected in Him over time. The type of woman depicted here is walking with God, seeking to please Him; she is wise (verse 26), generous (verse 20), hardworking (verses 22 and 24 ), and strong (verse 17). 

Proverbs 31 is an invitation to become more like Jesus, not in our own strength but through the power of the Holy Spirit. No one is born virtuous, but Jesus can make us into virtuous women as we seek a relationship with Him. He invites us to grow in the many virtuous qualities listed in this lovely proverb.  
I desire to become a Proverbs 31 woman, growing in virtue and being a blessing to my family and to my precious Lord. At the end of the chapter is my favorite verse from this proverb: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised” (verse 30). Yes! That’s it! I want to be a woman who fears the Lord. Join me today in asking Him to help us use Proverbs 31 as a guide to becoming a woman who truly fears Him.