Ministering in Marriage: Iron Sharpens Iron

Marriage can mold and refine us just as a blacksmith’s hammer shapes the glowing iron—trials, and tribulations we face cause pressure. Two pieces of metal rubbing against each other create friction, sure, but also refinement, strength, and sharpness. In the same way, a married couple, journeying through life’s fires together, can hone and sharpen each other into better versions of themselves.

In the book of Proverbs, the wise sage tells us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another,” Proverbs 27:17 (ESV). This timeless wisdom has profound implications for our marriages. Ministering in marriage is about serving your spouse, making sacrifices, and consciously working to foster growth – not just as individuals but as a harmonious couple.

Let’s consider several factors in ministering to your spouse. First, the art of listening is an essential factor in ministering to your spouse. Listening may not involve the clang of a hammer on an anvil, but it’s a fundamental aspect of ministering to your spouse. In a world where noise often drowns out the still, small voice of the Spirit, becoming a compassionate listener can be a holy task. Being there, present and attentive, can serve as a mirror reflecting your spouse’s thoughts, hopes, and fears, offering them the space to grow and transform.

Second, remember to pray for and with your spouse. Prayers are powerful tools in shaping our lives. They are the whispered petitions and loud cries that reach the heavens. Praying for your spouse softens your heart towards them, aligning your will with God’s. And when you pray with your spouse, you invite God’s grace and peace into your relationship, reinforcing the ties that bind you together. Early in our marriage, our Pastor counseled us to keep short accounts with one another. He said to deal with issues when they are tiny pebbles of irritation so they don’t become soul-crushing boulders.

The third element we’ve enjoyed in ministering to one another in our marriage is sharing spiritual experiences and insights. The Christian faith is not meant to be solitary but communal and shared. As iron sharpens iron, so too does sharing your spiritual journey with your spouse lead to mutual growth. Reading and reflecting on scripture, attending church or small group, or serving in a ministry can all be fruitful endeavors that spark conversations and deepen your understanding of God and each other.

Let’s remember the essential role of forgiveness in the ministry of marriage. Forgiveness is the oil that keeps the engine of marriage running smoothly. We all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes can cause us to hurt one another. But as Christ forgave us, so we must forgive each other. In doing so, we reflect God’s grace and make space for healing and reconciliation.

Let’s remember the essential role of forgiveness in the ministry of marriage. Forgiveness is the oil that keeps the engine of marriage running smoothly.

Finally, we must remember that iron does not sharpen iron without friction and force. It takes effort. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Ministering to your spouse requires commitment, patience, and often a good deal of grace. It means extending love when it’s hard, offering support when it’s inconvenient, and always seeking to reflect Christ’s love in your actions.

Remember that each day is an opportunity to shape your marriage, to minister to your spouse, and to grow together. Just as the blacksmith takes the raw iron and transforms it into a useful tool with patience, force, and heat, so too can we take our raw selves and, through the friction and pressure of life, become sharper, more resilient, and more like Christ.

Embrace the wisdom of Proverbs, and see your spouse not as an adversary but as a partner in refinement. Let your marriage be a place where iron sharpens iron, where both of you can grow, learn, and be shaped into the people God created you to be. In your marriage, be the minister, be the iron, and let the love of God, which is better than life itself, be the forge. We become better versions of ourselves as we minister to each other in our marriages.