Loneliness and Life Transitions
Loneliness impacts roughly 33% of mid-life and older adults and is tied to depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, and even increased mortality. Factors such as reduced family connections and social networks, widowhood, retirement, and chronic health issues often contribute to these feelings. Research consistently shows that loneliness among mid-life and older adults is closely associated with depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, and even increased mortality rates.
Transitioning to ‘A Certain Age’
The emotional state of being socially isolated or lacking meaningful connections has far-reaching consequences for both mental and physical health.
In fact, chronic loneliness has been compared to smoking 15 cigarettes a day in terms of its impact on overall health and life expectancy.
That finding comes from a 2010 study by psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad, which analyzed 148 studies involving over 300,000 people followed for several years. The participants ranged from their 20s to their 90s, but most were middle-aged or older, with an average age around 63.
The researchers found that people with close relationships and social support were about 50% more likely to be alive at the end of those studies than people who were socially isolated. This doesn’t mean strong family and friend relationships make you immortal— it means socially connected people were statistically less likely to die young.
Retirement
For many people, retirement sounds like a dream — no alarms, no meetings, and finally time to relax. But for a surprising number of retirees, that freedom can come with an unexpected side effect: loneliness.
Work provides more than just a paycheck. It gives structure, purpose, and daily social contact. When someone retires, all of that can disappear overnight. The friendly chats by the coffee machine, the sense of being part of a team, even the routine of getting up and going somewhere every day — these small interactions often make up a big part of our social world. Without them, it’s easy to feel cut off.
This shift can be especially hard for people who define themselves by their careers. Studies show that retirees who don’t replace their work-based connections with new social activities — like volunteering, joining small groups at church, or spending time in community groups — are more likely to feel lonely or even depressed. On the other hand, those who stay socially active tend to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life after leaving work.
Chronic Health Issues
Our bodies break down as we age and for many, developing chronic health issues is a part of the aging process. Living with a chronic health condition can make staying socially connected a real challenge. When someone struggles with pain, fatigue, or mobility issues, even simple outings — like meeting a friend for coffee or attending a family gathering — can start to feel overwhelming. Over time, many people begin to withdraw, not because they want to be alone, but because it’s just easier than trying to keep up.
Health problems can also create emotional barriers. It’s common for people to feel self-conscious or worry about being a “burden” when they can’t move as easily or need extra help. Conditions that limit diet — like diabetes or digestive disorders — can make social events centered around food uncomfortable, leading some to skip them altogether.
This gradual pulling away often leads to loneliness and isolation, which can, in turn, make health problems worse. Research shows that loneliness increases stress and inflammation, both of which can negatively affect chronic conditions. It becomes a frustrating cycle: poor health limits social life, and lack of social connection harms health.
The good news is that God cares for us at every stage and through every struggle! Isaiah 41:10 tells us “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will also uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (NASB)
As we move through phases and rhythms of life, there are some practical ways we can combat or even prevent loneliness.
Five Steps to Decrease Loneliness
1. Stay Connected Through Faith Communities
Attending church events or small groups can be a powerful way to build connection. Shared faith and purpose naturally create belonging. Whether it’s a weekly service, a Bible study, or volunteering at a church outreach, being part of a spiritual community helps replace loneliness with meaningful friendships and shared encouragement.
2. Get Involved in Your Community
Local activities — like library talks, senior centers, or hobby clubs — offer great opportunities to meet people. Volunteering can also provide structure and purpose while giving back. Even small interactions, like chatting with neighbors or attending local festivals, can strengthen your sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
3. Reach Out Through Technology
When getting out isn’t easy, technology keeps connections alive. Regular video calls, group chats, or online game nights with family and friends help bridge physical distance. Learning to use tools like Zoom or FaceTime can open doors to socializing, support, and laughter — right from the comfort of home.
4. Reconnect with Family and Friends
Don’t wait for others to reach out — take the first step. Call an old friend, text a grandchild, or invite family over for a meal. Maintaining relationships takes effort, but it’s worth it. Genuine connections, even brief ones, remind us we’re valued and not alone.
5. Plan Trips and Shared Experiences
Traveling — whether it’s a weekend getaway or a family vacation — builds lasting memories and strengthens bonds. Exploring new places with friends or loved ones provides shared joy, conversation, and connection. Even short trips break routine and refresh both mind and spirit, helping keep isolation at bay.
Live Strong, Finish Well
It is my prayer that you live strong and finish your race well. Transitions from season to season are hard, but don’t need to result in isolation and loneliness. Loneliness can sneak into life quietly — after retirement, during health struggles, or simply as routines change. But the good news is, it’s never too late to reconnect. Whether it’s joining a church small group, volunteering, calling an old friend, or planning a family trip, even small steps can make a big difference.
Social connection isn’t just about company — it’s about belonging, purpose, and joy. Research shows that people who nurture relationships live longer, happier, and healthier lives. And while it can take effort to reach out, especially when mobility or energy are limited, the rewards are worth it.
Live strong and finish well!
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Author Info
Dr. Mel Tavares
Dr. Mel Tavares is an award-winning non-fiction author, teacher, and life coach specializing in mental well-being and teaching others how to rise up and overcome adversities that have knocked them down. She is a frequent media guest. Over the span of her career, she’s served as a horticultural therapist, mental health counselor/coach, and non-profit director; while concurrently serving in leadership in all areas of local church ministry for 35 years. Mel holds a Doctorate of Ministry, in Pastoral Care and Counseling. She and her husband live in Connecticut, and have seven adult children and eleven grandchildren.