“I want to give this to you, Kelly. The next time you come, you can take it with you.”

Wow.

This family member’s generosity in offering me a gift not only melted my heart — it meant something deeply personal. She promised to give it to me the next time she saw me. I felt loved. Seen. Warm inside.

But the next time I saw her, she pulled me aside.

“Kelly,” she essentially said, “I’ve changed my mind. I’m not giving you the gift anymore. I saw some of the things you currently own, and I’ve decided not to give it.”

Shocked and appalled, the air left my stomach.

It wasn’t about the gift — it was about her heart to give… and now, her decision to take that giving away. It wasn’t about an item; it was about the feeling of being measured and judged based on what I own (and I’ll tell you — I don’t own much). It wasn’t about gaining something new; it was about months of knowing she had planned to give me something meaningful. It wasn’t about a possession — it was about being thought of, valued, and cared for.

It wasn’t about a possession — it was about being thought of, valued, and cared for.

Did she intend to hurt me? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say probably not.
But either way… it hurt. A lot.

Standing there with her — the air still gone from my belly — I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to be.

I just… was.

I was perturbed. And maybe a bit short with my words.

Eventually, I stepped away from her and the other family members. Perhaps that was the first wise thing I did: I created space.

In the heat of emotional conflict, we often default to reacting. But stepping away to get with God is always the first move toward reclaiming peace.

I tucked myself into an upstairs room. There, I prayed and cried out to God:

Father, I don’t want to be hurt… but I am. I don’t want to care about a thing… but I do.
Help!

I probably explained to God that all I had ever wanted was to love this woman — and to be loved by her. And now… this?

In the face of rejection, I wanted to reject. In the face of pain, I wanted to retaliate.
But God was gently calling me in another direction — toward letting go, and toward 100% forgiveness.

So soon, God? So soon?

It felt too early to let her off the hook. But forgiveness doesn’t follow feelings. And I forgive as I  have been forgiven.

So I released her — completely. I forgave — fully.

And I walked back downstairs filled with the love of Jesus, ready to let bygones be bygones.

Am I confident this woman won’t hurt me again? Who knows?

But that’s not my burden to carry. God tells me not to carry worry or fear. I cast that care on the Lord and walk forward in love — which is my greatest peace.

For You

Maybe you’re heading into the holiday season with fear in your heart — wondering:

Will I do this right?
Will I love well enough?
Will people get upset?
Will I get upset?

God has forgiven you of much — so you can forgive others of much too.

If so, print this devotional. Re-read it. Remember:

God has forgiven you of much — so you can forgive others of much too.

“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven — as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Luke 7:47

Prayer:

God, I have anger and bitterness in my heart. Will You forgive me? Will You not only forgive me but impart grace to me — grace to love others deeply and powerfully? I choose to forgive my offenders. I completely forgive and release them to You. And with this, Lord, will You heal any lingering hurt inside my heart? Sometimes it’s easy to forgive, but hard to stop feeling. Will You release healing in me — healing that fully covers over the pain?

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.