Balancing work and home life is tough for parents. Today, let’s examine how to balance quality and quantity time.

Children need quality time, quantity time, and special times of celebrations and traditions.  Only giving a child one of these will not grow a well-rounded child.  All children need, and cherish the special moments of quality time parents give them. This can be a difficult balance for parents to strike, in the midst of the workweek but thankfully, weekends and vacations afford more time.

Children need quality time, quantity time, and special times of celebrations and traditions.  Only giving a child one of these will not grow a well-rounded child.

Quality Time
During the work week, many parents spend less than an hour a day with their children. Because many mothers are (often necessarily so) in the workforce, and the majority of children are in school, there are a limited number of available hours in a day. Sports, dance, and other afterschool activities cut in on the time even further.

If parents are involved in church ministries or have an additional part-time job the number of waking hours is further diminished. The result of living a rat-race lifestyle are weekdays where family members don’t see each other from time they wake up until they say good-night, other than in passing.

When pressed for time during the work and school week, quality time should take precedence over quantity. If at all possible, prioritizing being home for dinner together allows for quality time daily. Most kids aren’t able to retain their thoughts for long periods of time. They aren’t able to give the details of the hours of their day when it’s bedtime. If parents ask specific questions at this point, they’re likely to get short answers. Sadly, the depth will not be the same as it would if the question was asked while the event was occurring or shortly thereafter. Older children will not repeat themselves and an absent parent risks having someone else be the one who heard about a particular incident or concern.

Parents must be intentional about using what time is available to interact with their kids.

For example a child could draw or do homework at the kitchen table while the mother is cooking dinner. Perhaps Dad can play a quick game of catch after work. Infants and toddlers can be kept busy on the floor. Don’t discount the value of these moments. During these times, older children will make comments about their day and something that is on their mind. It is an opportunity to share with, guide, and direct them and build on the foundation that you are creating.

Don’t discount the value of these moments. During these times, older children will make comments about their day and something that is on their mind. It is an opportunity to share with, guide, and direct them and build on the foundation that you are creating.

Let’s Talk Quantity

Children also need to be given blocks of quantity time from their parents. Quality one on one time is valuable and necessary, but it does not replace the need for quantity. I understand how busy weekends can be. Finding chunks of larger quantities of time will require examining sports calendars, church event commitments, and home project plans.

You may find it necessary to step down from some commitments, to make room for family time in this season of life. Practically speaking, try to find ways to serve at church or in the community that can involve the whole family. For example, your whole family could help clean the church and you (the parents) can seize the opportunity to teach skills as well as servanthood; and then all go out for pizza afterwards.

It may be more beneficial to hire someone to do home projects or yardwork, in order to free up more time. If it is not financially possible to hire help, consider making it a family effort for a block of time on a Saturday, followed by an outing together. You’ll be teaching life skills, the value of everyone contributing and talking about numerous topics, while getting the work done.

There is no replacement for the quantity of time that children need.  An hour of time is meaningful and necessary quality time but it does not replace the absence of the quantity available during the week. Weekends and vacations are the perfect time to carve out a family day (or two), which probably means saying no to lesser priorities. Despite our desire to spend more time together, time seems to elude us.

Too many activities can leave parents running from one activity to the next all weekend long, with days being as busy as the work/school week. This leaves no open space in the calendar for a family trip to the zoo or a road trip to see the grandparents, or the opportunity to accept a last minute invite to a birthday party. Wisdom means limiting how many activities are scheduled per child. Multiple children make it more challenging. One strategy I found effective when the kids were younger was to rotate which child was in sports during a given season. (I did this after spending a season running three kids to three different soccer fields in town, with a newborn in tow. Not fun!)

The fact is that if the quantity of time is not made available, both kids and their parents are losing out. Parents will miss the opportunity to impart applicable morals and values to their children. Make no mistake; the void is willingly and quickly filled by school departments and social media, as well as peers and other adults in their lives.  Values will be formed, but they may not match yours. Investing quantity time will yield a great return for both you and your children.

Celebrations and Traditions

Children need times of celebration and keeping traditions. Many mothers forgo this important aspect of life due to a lack of time and energy. I don’t negate the importance of dads in the memory making process, but the truth is the task of planning and organizing celebrations usually falls to the mother.

If you think back to your own childhood, you will remember how you celebrated holidays, birthdays, and events such as the first day of the school year. Perhaps there were special traditions, or perhaps little was done at all. Either way, the day was spent in some capacity and a memory was created.

Think of a time one of your kids picked a handful of dandelions for you. It isn’t the dandelions that tug at your heartstrings; it’s the fact that your child picked them in an act of love. Your children are collecting memories about their childhood just as you collected memories from your own childhood. The question you need to ask yourself is, “What are they putting in the memory bank?”

Finding the Balance
Filling the memory banks, laying a Biblical foundation, nurturing and caring for children all takes time. Sometimes, an hour of quality is enough to interact and memorable moments are made. Other actions require larger quantities of time to carefully lay the foundation brick by brick. My best suggestion is to set aside some dedicated time as parents to pray and ask God for wisdom as you strategize, prioritize, and formulate a balance that works for you and your children. Implementing and maintaining a more balanced approach will help you create the family you desire.