I’ve been in the shoes of being a working mom trying to find a work-life balance. While I am an empty-nester now, vivid memories of trying to get kids ready for school while feeding a baby loom in the forefront of my mind. How I managed to use lunch hours to juggle doctor appointments, grocery shopping, and paying the bills before the days of smart phones and delivery services still mystifies me. Over the years, I learned some techniques that helped me strike a good work-life balance. I’ll share some of them with you, in hopes you can avoid the level of chaos and exhaustion that often defined my life.

Say No to Mom Guilt
Few moms would say they’ve never had to deal with guilt that comes in many forms. For some, guilt shows up as a voice in our head when we pull into the drive-through instead of making a home-cooked meal. Other moms feel mom-guilt when they miss a parent-teacher conference, a school play, or soccer practice. Still others feel guilty because of a lack of patience with children at night, after a long day in the office.

In the words of Elsa in the movie ‘Frozen’, let it go. Don’t let the enemy of your soul steal the joy of being a parent. God knows you need to be working right now, and He doesn’t condemn you. If you are prioritizing those things that are important to you and your family is healthy, what does the rest matter?  My list of top priorities may be different from yours, and that’s ok. Go, live your life and raise your family, with no guilt.

Don’t let the enemy of your soul steal the joy of being a parent. God knows you need to be working right now, and He doesn’t condemn you. If you are prioritizing those things that are important to you and your family is healthy, what does the rest matter?

Accept Your limits
We’re human beings, despite our little ones who sometimes have no concept of our limitations. Something has to give, in order to keep your life in balance. Again, you have to decide what stays and what goes. I gave up trying to keep the house picture perfect, deciding instead to do housework on Saturday mornings and then ‘touch up’ during the week. You may need to accept your limits in a different area. Maybe you have a desire to be the president of the PTO but the family’s needs and your work schedule doesn’t allow the extra time right now. Let someone else be president and be content to participate in the fundraisers by posting it to social media and selling to co-workers.

There’s only 168 hours in a week and you need to make time to sleep, prioritize your marriage, and nurture your family. Give yourself some grace, accept your limits and know the season will shift soon enough.

Grocery Delivery and Other Time Savers
While I didn’t have the luxury of using grocery delivery services, online bill pay, or digitally scheduling sports physicals during my child-rearing years; I am a huge proponent of these time-savers now.

The pandemic of 2020 normalized using Door Dash and Instacart as well as curb-side pickup of grocery orders, saving busy moms many hours a week. Not for nothing, but not there’s a lot to be said for not having to take cranky or bored kids to the grocery store. Any of us who’ve experienced the joy of enduring the scathing look of shoppers while a child screams at the top of their lungs will be forever grateful for alternatives.

Likewise, many other apps are available to help with online banking, automatic bill pay, searching for the elusive ‘perfect birthday gift’ a child is begging for, or listening to a podcast or Bible app during commute time.

Take Time for Yourself Each Week
When is the last time you did something alone, sans kids? If you didn’t answer ‘last week’, this topic is for you.

It may seem counter-intuitive to take an hour or two for yourself, when you are already short on time. I recommend doing it anyways. Part of finding balance is recognizing it is ok to practice some self-care. Schedule your time and prioritize it as much as you prioritize everything else. If something has to get shoved aside during the week, make sure it isn’t your timeslot.

While I’ve heard some admonish moms and call it selfish, I disagree. As a mental health professional for several decades, the opposite is true. You are not an effective wife, mom, or employee if you are stretched to the point that you never take time for yourself. I’m not talking about taking an entire day or even an entire afternoon (although if you can take that much time once in a while, it would do wonders for your soul).  Just an hour to walk in the park or sip a latte while chatting with a friend, with no agenda, will rejuvenate you in ways you can’t imagine. Personally, I recommend taking this time away from your workspace or home, to eliminate interruptions. Let everyone know you’re not available unless there is an emergency, the same as if you are at work or serving at a church event.

Pro Tip: Make a list of things you’d enjoy and are doable in specific timeframes. I have three columns on my list: one hour, two hour, and four hour. At the bottom, I have a bucket list of all-day outings I’d enjoy. I also have a list of friends I can call to spontaneously meet me to do some shopping or grab a quick lunch.

You will never regret the time spent nurturing and making memories, but you will have regrets if you don’t strike a balance and live in the moment.

Live in the Moment
Your children are a precious gift from God and your work is also a gift from God. Striking the balance is possible with a mind-shift and implementing a few time-saving strategies. Doing so will allow you to live in the moment. When you are at work, live in the moment there and work with a spirit of God-honoring excellence, knowing your family is well-cared for. Be fully engaged in meetings, resisting the urge to allow your mind to plan the backyard BBQ you’ll host on Saturday.

Likewise, when you leave your job and are back home with the family, resist the urge to think about a work project rather than read a book to a child. Soak up the hugs and kisses. Being fully present and engaged with the family is more critical than ever before, given the onslaught of societal woes and immorality children are encountering throughout their days. These years pass all too quickly and there’ll be plenty of time to work when the nest is empty. You will never regret the time spent nurturing and making memories, but you will have regrets if you don’t strike a balance and live in the moment.
I pray these few nuggets will help you strike a good work-life balance. Remember, no guilt! You’re going to accept your limits, use the time-saving options you have at your finger-tips, take some time for yourself each week, and be fully present and live in the moment at work and at home.