I got married approximately ten months before the global pandemic struck our nation. Thoughts of bridesmaid dresses, photographers, and honeymoon plans were quickly replaced with plans for having adequate toilet paper, how we would handle seeing our families for holidays, and leading a church through unknown territory with unlimited opinions on how it should be done. We quickly found ourselves disillusioned and discouraged by the challenges of a life between two gardens. The now and not yet. We live here, now, and experience God’s clearest picture of his relationship with his Bride, but our hearts also long for the full restoration of all things that will occur when Jesus comes back. It’s both a great gift and a deep responsibility. Maybe you can relate?
We must have a Kingdom perspective when it comes to this important relationship we share with our spouse. Ephesians 5:31-33 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (NIV) My husband often says, “We become one in an instant, but oneness takes a lifetime.” The following are four vital reminders that will enable us to fix our eyes on an eternal view of marriage.
First, the quicker we realize that our spouse is our greatest partner in ministry, the quicker we will become a united front as we minister and serve together. You are on the same team and playing for the same Coach. This is important to remember when you face big decisions, work through conflict, or hurt one another’s feelings. Life will inevitably bring about difficult circumstances, loss, grief, disappointment, regret, and disillusionment. It is crucial that you view your husband or wife as your greatest gift, advocate, and cheerleader through life’s greatest storms.
Second, the enemy wants no part of a thriving marriage that glorifies God. John 10:10 tells us, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (NIV) God created the institution of marriage and it should be no surprise to us that the enemy would attempt to thwart and tear down one of God’s greatest relational gifts to us this side of heaven. We must be on guard in our marriages against temptation, distraction and discouragement.
Third, we must extend the grace we receive from God first to our spouses. Ephesians 4:7 says, “But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.” (NIV) We first have to receive God’s gift of grace for us in sending Jesus to dwell among us, die on the cross for our sins, and offer us a restored relationship with God the Father. Once we turn from our sin and toward him in trust and dependence, his Spirit empowers us to offer grace to our spouses. By definition, grace is a free gift of something we do not deserve. What an opportunity we have to model God’s grace to our husband or wife! May he make us aware of these moments in our everyday lives.
Finally, a marriage with a Kingdom perspective is our greatest opportunity for sanctification. No one in your life will be closer to your shortcomings, resentment, doubt, sin, selfishness, worry and fear. This can be challenging early on in marriage, but if you choose to see it this way, it can be a powerful mirror that reveals ways God desires to transform us to be more like Christ. You have endless opportunities to point your spouse in the direction of the gospel as you get a front row seat to their sanctification.
Embracing a Kingdom perspective in our marriages is a profound gift and a great responsibility. As we navigate the inevitable complexities of life, it’s crucial to remember the eternal significance of our union before a holy God. Our spouse is not just our partner, but a reflection of Christ’s relationship with his church. By viewing our spouse as our greatest partner in ministry, guarding our marriages against the enemy’s schemes, generously extending grace every day, and encouraging our spouse’s sanctification, we can cultivate a thriving marriage with Christ at the center. Let’s strive to embody the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control – more on this in Galatians 5) as we pursue unity in our marriage. May it be a testament to His transformative power as we anticipate the ultimate restoration and glorification of all things when Jesus returns. What a day that will be!
Author Info
Rebecca George
Rebecca George is an author, speaker, and host of the popular podcast Radical Radiance. Her greatest joy is helping women pursue their passions in a way that builds God’s kingdom. In her free time, she loves running outside or trying a new recipe with Garth Brooks playing in the background.