How might God be calling us to a restart? What would it look like to extend the same grace that Jesus daily gives to us – to another?

“Dad, this is my thought on what I am going to do…”

I vocalized my opinion, then braced myself, nearly grabbing the couch cushion for support. Why? Because I knew my dad’s go-to response. It would be something like, “Well, a better idea would be…” or “What I would do if I were you is…”

Ugh. Frankly, I didn’t want to hear it. Not really. What I wanted to hear was belief and hope. Not what I’d heard a thousand times –“That’s not a good way, Kelly.” But, here I go again…opening up my dreams and plans, hoping for a different response.

Grr… If idiocy is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results, I’m about to be an idiot one more time.

Anxiety rushed through my chest. I braced myself for his answer.

“Kelly,” he stated, “that’s really a great idea.”

It is??

Shocked, I just sat there.  I sat and considered how my dad has been changing recently. I sat and pondered how he’s actually been doing new things, like listening. I sat and decided, that by believing he won’t change, I lock him to a past he can’t ever change – in my eyes.  I sat and toyed with the idea that my bitterness and unforgiveness is my pride. He’s been little-by-little doing new things and that is worth much.

I… decided that, by believing he won’t change, I lock him to a past he can’t ever change – in my eyes.

I knew I must forgive my dad of the past to permit my dad to walk into a new future. Practically this looks like me, no longer fearing him, closing my heart and expecting the worst in our dialogues, but offering him a blank slate when we talk.

Another biblical person had a similar restart like mine. Do you know who?

It was biblical great, Joseph. Indeed, Joseph, thanks to his brothers, lived in slavery, yet ultimately, he didn’t permit that bad history to stop God’s unfolding victory.

After going through near hell-on-earth – slavery, imprisonment, false allegations and torturous waiting, Joseph met up with his accusers and condemners, his brothers…

“Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Come close to me.’ When they had done so, he said, ‘I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!’” (Genesis 45:4, NIV)

Joseph drew his brothers close, even though they pushed him far away.

“And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward, his brothers talked with him.” (Genesis 45:15)

Joseph kissed ones who once dissed him.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  (Genesis 50:20)

Joseph focused on God’s intent (despite the slavery, rejection, abandonment, false allegations of rape, unjust imprisonment he went through) over man’s malintent.

What can we learn from Joseph?

Whether we are experiencing a tough relationship with a brother, a father, or a husband – there is an art to a complete restart.

We can:

1. Extend the same grace to others we always hope to receive.

Consider this: God remembers our confessed sin no more (Heb. 8:12). He moves it as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103:12). Every day, we get fresh mercies (La. 3:22).

When we immediately wipe away a person’s old sin through forgiveness we give them a fresh start by Jesus’ grace. The most powerful people are forgivers.

2. Kiss rather than diss.

Joseph is a great model in this. As we approach people in love, love conquers offense and defeats old injury. Love disarms people. Notice, after Joseph kissed his brothers, in love, they let down their guard in response.

3. Hope for what is good instead of expecting what is bad.

I remember a woman recounting a story about how horrible her husband was. She went to the card section of a department store on Valentine’s Day. None of the card’s script even came remotely close to describing her horrible husband. What would she do?

The woman did something radical. She got him the card of who she dreamed he would be at His fullest Christ potential. Instead of leaving the store defeated because her husband was horrible, she believed he could be more. Perhaps, after that, she even spoke these things about him, prayed them, and treated him as if he was that.

Later, she recounted – he became that man written in that card. She released him from what was, to allow him to walk in God’s new. Christ always makes all things possible for those who believe.

How might God be calling us to a restart? What would it look like to extend the same grace that Jesus daily gives to us – to another?