“You’re not wearing that,” I said to my daughter the other day. My 19-year-old daughter grabbed her keys and her purse and snuck out of the house. But what she was wearing was far from acceptable for a young Christian woman. My daughter accepted Christ at a young age, was baptized at eight years old, studies the Bible, and feels a call in her life to lead worship. Donning a form-fitting tank top, with a layer of lace peeking out from the top resembling a bra, was not something a young Christian woman who claimed to know the Lord should wear. Although I’ve tried to be more relaxed about her outfits, that tank top had gone too far. We were able to compromise, and she put on a different tank top with a sheer button-down shirt over it, making it a little less revealing. What’s a parent to do when their child has a heart for holiness, but the world sends them mixed messages?

Although holiness is more than modesty or a particular choice of outfit, a revealing outside appearance indicates an inward problem. Your kids and grandkids need guidance as to where to draw the line between their outward actions and behaviors and their ability to surrender their entire lives to God in their hearts.

Here are three ways to help teach kids and grandkids the concept of holiness and encourage them to practice holiness regularly:

Solidify their Identity

Jesus was secure in who he was as God’s son. He never used his position or authority as leverage to boost his self-esteem. He never let the expectations of others or their false accusations allow him to doubt himself or his ministry on earth. He knew why he had come to the world, and he knew his time was done when he had completed that mission.

Jesus was secure in who he was as God’s son.

Holiness comes more easily to kids when they know whose they are and their place in the Kingdom. When they waver back and forth between who they are in Christ, while secretly coveting their friend’s approval, it can spell trouble for any young Christian.

A great way to put the Bible into practice is to go through a book of the Bible that outlines God’s promises and his view of who they are. The book of Philippians is a great place to do this. Take the opportunity to go through this book with your child or grandchild. Ask them to highlight all the ways God sees them. Help them to know the truth so that the truth can set them free.

There is no greater truth than the word of God. When a child has solidified their identity and become more confident, little sways them to the contrary. Help them relate the Bible in such a way that every day they can be reminded that God loves them, he has a plan for them, and he considers them special in his sight.

Point Them to the Right Celebrities

No matter how many restrictions you place on social media and other forms of entertainment, kids pick up the messages that the media bombards them with. Instead of avoiding entertainment altogether, point them towards men and women who exemplify the Christian faith. For example, allow them to listen to less Shaboozey and watch more shows with professing believer Candace Cameron Bure such as Full House.

Although no celebrity is perfect, if there are people in the world who emulate the type of Christian you want your child to grow up to be, point them in that direction. Please encourage them by sending them links to podcasts, watching television shows, and listening to music that more accurately reflects what it means to be set apart from the world, rather than mirroring it.

Raise the Bar

In society, Christianity requires very little more than a simple recitation of the salvation prayer and perhaps the outward display of baptism. Beyond that, however, kids are required to do very little when it comes to their Christianity. While grace does cover over a multitude of sins, what they do in private shapes who they are. The more they get away with outward sins without any sort of accountability or consequence, the more likely they are to drift away from the reality of the destruction sin can have in a person’s life.

Because holiness is defined as being set apart for the Lord, their mind, heart, and actions all must match in that regard. The next time you find your child or grandchild lying about a minor issue, listening to music that does not glorify God, or gossiping about their friends, correct them. Take the time to sit down with them and tell them why these things are wrong. Each time you do this, you shape their character. Character is essential when it comes to practicing holiness daily. Make sure your lifestyle reflects a holy life, or else your preaching will fall on deaf ears.

Make sure your lifestyle reflects a holy life, or else your preaching will fall on deaf ears.

If something is amiss in their character, more than likely their actions will follow, and they won’t even know why. People who want to grow in their spiritual lives must have spiritual mentors or people who can help correct them when they’re going down the wrong path. Be the person to help them see the difference between right and wrong and why it is essential to live a righteous life to be the outward example of Christ God wants us to be.

Holiness is a difficult concept to grasp in today’s world. However, there are ways to help shape the child’s character, reinforce the truth of their identity in Christ, and help them find good, positive role models in society that they could emulate. These are small steps to ensure holiness becomes not just a concept heard only in church, but something that is practiced in their daily lives.